I have read many ACODs stories in blogs and on this forum and I am just wondering if there is any conclusive evidence that a parent who initiates a divorce ( because of an affair or other reasons) truly doesnt' understand the impact and hurt that it is causing his/her family. In many stories, it seems that the parent who is leaving doesnt' really think it is a big deal or they think that it will "blow over" and all will be rather normal again. The feeling is that the divorce is between the parents and that is only who it should affect. I wonder if any of you out there have had that same experience. I did. My parent who was making the changes in his life, just recently , finally, acknowledged ( after years!!) that it must have been hard for us children, grandchildren, other relatives, friends, etc... . Is it possible that he really didnt' understand until now, how terrible it would be for many people? What are your feelings and thoughts on this?